Sometimes I want God to be my magic 8 ball.
I want a clear "yes to this, no to this".
I want to open up my Bible to a random page and have a verse pop out like a flashing neon sign where I can shout out, "THAT'S IT!"
And sometimes, God has worked liked that.
There have been times where circumstances clearly dictated direction, or the Lord's Spirit clearly led me to make a certain decision, or accept or reject particular happenings.
And, to be honest, I tend to prefer that.
It makes it so much easier when I can go, "this is obviously it" or "this is how a certain thing will play out". Even if I'm less than ecstatic with something, if I am convinced the Lord is orchestrating, it's sometimes easier to accept.
I feel more at peace that way.
I feel more confident and unshakable.
But sometimes, God doesn't spell it out for me.
In those cases, I go to God and say, "Ok, You're letting me decide. Fine. But at least tell me this then: what happens if I go with A and what happens if I go with B? If I know how those scenarios will play out, I can make my choice even though You haven't clearly led me to pick either. And oh, what if there is option C as well?"
So...basically I want to know everything.
I wouldn't go to a fortune teller because that's "un-Christian", but I realized I often treat God like my Heavenly Soothsayer.
It may seem deceptively more respectable, but it's still wrong.
What of faith?
What of trust?
What of surrender?
What of the desire to know God and see Him glorified being of greater importance than having everything play out as I want it to, neatly packaged with a big red bow?
What of growth?
I was listening to a podcast that accompanies my current Bible study, and she commented that, as an infant, our Mom picks out our clothes, but if you were still asking her to at 16 she'd say, "Are we still here?"
And yet sometimes we're like that with God: still acting like infants when He wants us to grow.
I'm certainly not advocating being reckless. We should seek the Lord and ask for wisdom, certainly, and sometimes it comes down to God saying, "Ok, now it's time to implement what I've taught you instead of sitting there paralyzed while I do it for you."
The Lord is so gracious even in those times of paralysis and carries me when necessary, and even more gracious in that while He meets me in them, He wants to get those faith muscles back in working order.
I don't need to know the future - the future belongs to God.
And so do I.
