The Little Engine That Could...n't

The past few days, I have been having recurring feelings of inadequacy. Ever been there? Things you think you should know, but don't. Things you wish you could do, but can't. Why can't I be perfect and good at everything and be that way now? Ha...! Today there was an extremely simple and inconsequential matter that I could not immediately get the hang of, and rather than laugh about it, I fought back tears instead.
Where does that come from? I'm sure some of it's pride. Wanting to feel accomplished, maybe even a tad superior. This is wrong, I know.
I can be proud, stubborn, fearful & foolish.
I sometimes strive under the illusion that I, in my human-ness, have all the strength & qualifications I need to get by, and if I don't, I just need to believe in myself more and try harder.
But tonight God wasn't reminding me how ridiculous I can be.
What was He reminding me?

That He loves me.

He loves me not because of what I can do, or should do, or have done, or want to do.
He loves me not because of how I look, or where I've been, or who I know, or what others think of me.
He loves me. Unconditionally.

The God of the universe loves me because He is holy. He is Love. He knit me together in my mother's womb. He created me and said, "I have a purpose for you. I am going to transform you into the image of My Son. I am going to bless you with Myself for eternity. You don't know just how cool this is. You do not yet comprehend the depths, the height, & the width of My love for you, but rest in this:
Christ didn't die for you because you can; He died for you because you can't."

Christ didn't die for me because I can    [insert whatever]    ; He died for me because I can't.

Romans 5: 6-8

For when we were still without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly.  For scarcely for a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

You see, my inadequacies go far deeper than the superficial. My sin separated me from my God. And yet, He came and died, bearing my transgressions. But He conquered the grave & brought me to Himself. And now? 

He calls me child.

He calls me beloved.

He calls me friend.

Because of Christ, I am holy & blameless in the sight of God. Not because of who I am or what I can do, but because of who He is and what Christ has done on the cross. I'm a mess. But somehow He looks at this mess (which He graciously calles a 'work in progress' instead) and says, "I love you. You are precious to Me." 

I can't say I've wrapped my head around that, but even so, "awesome" seems like an understatement.