Feast or Famine

In feast or in famine

When I've made hell of heaven

And when I yearn for Your embrace.

Glad tidings or goodbyes

Emotions behind my eyes

I'm leaning heavy on Your grace.

'Cause I can't do this on my own.

CHORUS

Lift up your voice on high for the glory of the Lord

Raise up your hands tonight; there is beauty in His Word

Under sunshine; under cloud

You're working in and through us now

Spirit, be bold in us for the glory of the Lord

For the glory of the Lord

In laughter, in longing

In laying my belongings down

In knowing all I am is Yours

In trials, in timing

In trusting Your designing

For You are after and before.

And I just want to know You more.

CHORUS

BRIDGE

My soul sings to You

Only by Your power and mercy

And I turn to You

For You fill all who are thirsty

And You've released me

Free to wrestle, free to learn to own my faith.

And every time I fall

Every blessing, every battle

I know You've won the war

Though at times my world is shattered

And as I turn to You

Draw me closer, Jesus mold me with Your love

Show me that You are enough.

My weakness - You're stronger

My power - You're stronger

My wisdom - You're stronger, my Lord.

All hardship - You're stronger

All heartache - You're stronger

All planning - You're stronger; You're Lord.

And I just want to know You more.

Philippians 4:11b-13

For I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.


2 Corinthians 9:9-10
And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

More Than You Can Handle

22 year old American, 

living in Uganda, 

has a non-profit ministry,

single mother of 13.

The things God can do with a willing heart.
A heart that loves Jesus more than anything. A heart that's open to anything He calls her to. A heart that realizes that following His voice is not always easy because it requires you to give all of yourself, but realizes that the joy of being in God's will and bringing glory to His name is worth the sacrifices.

The 22 year old I was talking about is Katie Davis (you can read her blog at http://kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com/ or her book "Kisses from Katie"). A person made in the image of God. Like you and I. A person God loves very much. Like you and I. A person God will do amazing things in and through as she obeys His voice. And God will do amazing things in our lives too if we will give Him all of ourselves.

I wanted to share some of my favourite quotes from the book, although I recommened reading it for yourself!

"People from my first home say I'm brave. They tell me I'm strong...But the truth is, I'm not really very brave; I am not really very strong; and I am not doing anything spectacular. I am simply doing what God has called me to do as a person who follows Him. He said to feed His sheep and He said to care for 'the least of these'" (95)

"Mediocrity & abundance, comfort and ease, do seem to be safe choices for many people, myself included. In stark contrast, leaving our possessions, following Jesus when we don't have a well-defined plan, and entertaining strangers - well, that does sound a little scary. But what if, just beyond that risk, just beyond the fear is a life better than anyhing we have every imagined: life to the fullest." (101)

"People often asked me, 'how do you do it?' The answer...is so simple: I don't. It's just a little bit of coffee and a whole lot of Jesus...these 'accomplishments,' they are so not my own." (131)

"'Remember, God will never give you more than you can handle.'
...It is meant to be a source of encouragement, and it would be if I believed it were true.
    But I don't.
I believe that God totally, absolutely, intentionally gives us more than we can handle. Because this is when we surrender to Him and He takes over, proving Himself by doing the impossible in our lives...
I have learned to accept it, even ask for it, this 'more than I can handle.' Because in these times, God shows Himself victorious. He reminds me that all of this life requires more of Him and less of me. God does give us more than we can handle. Not maliciously, but intentionally, in love, that His glory may be displayed, that we may have no doubt of who is in control, that people may see His grace & faithfulness shining through our lives. And as I surrender these situations to Him, watch Him take over & do the impossible, I am filled with joy & peace - so much more than I can handle." (135-137)

"I believe there is only one truly courageous thing we can do with our lives: to love unconditionally." (251)

The Sunny Side of Suffering

The sunny side of suffering? (aka "The Hearty Half of Hardship"... I just love alliterations)
You may think I've lost my mind! This touches on more of what I wrote in "Sufficiency" in December: That every cloud has a silver lining and that the testing of your faith develops perseverence->character->hope.

The funny thing is, I already know all these things that I'm writing today. But sometimes in a certain moment, it suddenly becomes more real to you, and you don't just know..you know. That was tonight.

People often tell me that I'm always smiling. Always happy. My name even means "cheerful"! I love that people see me this way! But I don't want it to be only a superficial emotion. I want to be real. I don't want to be happy simply because everything is pleasant and easy. I want to exude the unsquashable joy of the Lord that transcends circumstance and the peace of God which surpasses the comforts of this world.

For those of you who I don't get to see regularly, it may suprise you to know that the past few months have been a massive struggle for me. And God keeps reminding me to trust that "The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O Lord, endures forever..." (Psalm 138:8)

Sometimes, I praise God and "give thanks in all circumstances"(1 Thess 5:18). Sometimes, I handle struggles very poorly.
Sometimes, I rejoice because God loves me and has a plan for me, and will make good come from bad.
Sometimes, I have cried out and questioned if I even belong to God. Because if I did, why would I go through hardship?

Hebrews 12:7-8, 10-11

Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father?  If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons....Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

This is where you'll really think I'm crazy: I read these verses...and I laughed. Heartily.

Not because life is easy. It often isn't. Not because I disrespect to things God wants to teach me. I don't. But because I can be so silly sometimes and forget things God has told and showed me many times before. I can trust Him. I belong to Him. I may go through hardship, but I will be refined by the fire. And God says during these times "check yourself, make sure you love Me most, focus on Me and run towards Me, don't look back, I love you, I love you, I love you."

God loves me unconditionally. (yay!!)
God has saved me (thank youuuu!)

God wants to make me more like Him. (please do)

God wants to use me to bring glory to His name. (Oh yes, Lord Jesus!)

And for that, I can laugh heartily with the joy of the Lord.

The Hiding Place

Just finished reading The Hiding Place by Corrie ten Boom. I don't quite know what to say. It's a great example of seeking God's face and yearning to be in the centre of His will even when difficult. To be willing to serve despite potential consequence. To love without condition. Because despite our greatest flaws and the most devastating examples of depravity...

Love is stronger. Though sometimes it's only in the hard places we can begin to comprehend the extent of that.

Favourite quotes:

"I know that the experiences of our lives, when we let God use them, become the mysterious and perfect preparation for the work He will give us to do."

"'Some knowledge is too heavy for children. When you are older and stronger you can bear it. For now you must trust me to carry it for you.'
And I was satisfied. More than satisfied - wonderfully at peace. There were answers to this and all my hard questions - for now I was content to leave them in my father's keeping."

"''Do you know what hurts so much? It's love. Love is the strongest force in the world, and when it is blocked that means pain. There are two things we can do when this happens. We can kill the love so that it stops hurting. But then, of course, part of us dies too. Or, Corrie, we can ask God to open up another route for that love to travel...If you ask Him, He will give you His love...Whenever we cannot love in the old, human way, Corrie, God can give us the perfect way.'
...I did not know that he had put into my hands the secret that would open far darker rooms than this - places where there was not, on a human level, anything to love at all."

“If God has shown us bad times ahead, it's enough for me that He knows about them. That's why He sometimes shows us things, you know - to tell us that this too is in His hands.”    

"There are no ifs in God's world. And no places that are safer than other places. The centre of His will is our only safety - O Corrie, let us pray that we may always know it!"

"We must tell people what we have learned here. We must tell them that there is no pit so deep that He is not deeper still. They will listen to us, Corrie, because we have been here."

Psalm 119:114

"You are my hiding place and my shield; I hope in Your word."

Sufficiency

I broke down earlier this week.

It's hard when your music, your ministry, your passion and your plans get screwed up all in one foul swoop (even if temporarily). It's amazing how a couple months can really mess with you. I'm not saying I can't smile and laugh and be joyful, because I can and have...but to say I'm not struggling would be a lie.

But they say every cloud has a silver lining...

Romans 5:1-5

 Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.

 And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations,

knowing that tribulation produces perseverance;

and perseverance, character;

and character, hope.

Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

I can face trials in my life one of two ways: I can turn my back on God (and miss out on the amazing things He wants to do in my life) or I can cling to Him. It's easy for me to ask "why" and to get angry with God. And yeah, He's big enough to handle it. But the better option would be to trust Him.

To trust that all bad things have the potential to be worked together for good (Romans 8:28).

To trust that He who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus (Philippians 1:6).

To trust that God's grace is sufficient for me (2 Corinthians 12:9).

God can use the hard times to help us see it's Him we have to rely on, and it's in Him that our identity is found.

I feel God's asking, "do you believe I'm enough for you?" and "if you believe I am enough, are you going to live out what you believe?"

Whatever it is you want that you don't have, will you be content in Christ even if those dreams never come to be realized? 

If I never sang again this side of eternity, would I know that my identity is found in Christ and be able to praise Him?

For those of us who want to get married, would we live joyously and productively for the Kingdom of God if we remained single?

If the Leafs never win the Stanley Cup again, would you know that life goes on? =P

I'm not trying to be melodramatic. I'm not at all saying that these things will never happen. I tend to believe they will!! (except maybe that last one). I'm not suggesting that we shouldn't pray for things that are important to us. We definitely should! God loves to give good gifts to His children!! But my point today is: no matter what, in good times and bad, who or what is it that you are living for? What gives you purpose? What defines you? If things are exactly how you want them to be, did you thank God for that? Do you believe God can use every circumstance to draw you to Himself and to make you more like Him?

Sufficiency

"If you never get to sing again,

If you never get to sing.

Will you still believe I'm in control of everything?

If he never comes to win your heart,

If he never comes to win.

Will you still know that you are beautiful and not because of him?

I delight in giving you good things,

All good things come from Me.

But more crucial than what you may have is who you are going to be.

This doesn't mean the sun won't come,

But it does mean you must trust

That no matter what you face in life, I'll always be enough.

If your dreams never come to be,

If they never come to be,

Will you see that I'm sufficient and still find joy in Me?

In all your days throughout this life,

None were made to waste.

Will you linger in My presence, trust My power, know My grace?

So do not turn away from Me,

I treasure you so dear.

Please learn that through these ups and downs,

I'm here, My love, I'm here.

It's not fun to see you crying,

And someday I'll wipe your tears,

But through each trial and heartache,

Draw near, My child, draw near."

Superstars and Other Musings

A few weeks ago, I went to see Taylor Swift with some lovely friends of mine. I'm not a big concert goer, but I was incredibly pumped leading up to it, thoroughly enjoyed it and would like to go again. (Dancers, aerialists, pyrotechnics, and some of the numbers were like mini-musicals, and we know how I adore musicals)
But this post isn't about Taylor Swift.

In fact, it's not even about me (though I am in parts of it).

I was in a rather peculiar mood on the drive home. I don't think my friends noticed because they were screaming songs at the top of their lungs (you guys are hilarious!). I was deep in thought. I imagine the rush of performing like that would be exceedingly high. Because goodness! The fun I have just cleaning house while dancing around and singing into a broom is already fantastic! I love music. It must be incredible to stand in front of a huge crowd and have them cheering for you.
50,000 people applauding one person. The energy in the room is crazy. But can you imagine that many people and abundantly more exalting the Creator of the universe and the Saviour of my soul? WOW!!
As I said before, I was pumped for the concert. I looked forward to it each day. I savoured each moment. I thought about it when it was over. I am probably sounding a tad obsessive.
But what if we spent every moment consumed by God?
What if...
We spent every moment exalting His name instead of lifting our soul to another?
We looked forward to spending time with Him, yearned to be with Him, lived each day to the fullest for His glory, eagerly awaited the day when we see His face?
And that's not something we'll have to be content with just reminiscing about when it's over. He never ends. His love never fails. He is enough.

If

 I came across a poem I had written a long time ago (in grade 10 if I remember correctly) Reading it reminded me once again, that as a follower of Christ we must die to our old selves - our selfishness & sinful desires and ask God to change us to be like Him. It is a challenge. Following God isn't easy and sometimes our emotions and fears pull us in directions other than living selflessly and entirely to the Lord. Christians can be full of a lot of talk, I won't deny that. But I want my life to be more than words. I want my life to truly be wholeheartedly given to God. Perhaps the poem would have been better titled "When" because God does call us to surrender our will to His and to trust Him when we face struggles that will inevitably come.

If

Could I do all that You've called me to do?

If I face struggles and hardships

Could I accept the fact that You know what you're doing?

If I face a difficult decision

Could I choose what is right over what seems easy?

If Your plans for me are not my own

Would I follow them or fight to get my own way?

If You ask me to step up,  or stand back, or speak up, or fall back on You

Could I do that?

If You ask me to say yes or urge me to say no

Could I say "ok God"?

If You ask me to give my very life

Or suffer immensely

And cling to You at all costs

Could I do that?

Could I honestly do that?

I guess the more appropriate question is

...would I?

Because I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me

But only if I am willing.

I've heard it said to take up your cross and follow God,

I'm sure I've said it myself before,

But saying things and going through with them

If and when the time comes 

Are sometimes contradictory

Could I follow through with what I say?

...Would I?

Because only if I would

And if I must I do

May I truly say my love for You is genuine.

Make me willing Lord

Make   me    willing